i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
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