the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I AM VODKA MAN
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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