nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
