don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
