I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
