i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
