I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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