I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
