I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Randomize
