My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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