I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
