I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
In America we eat man semen.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
