and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
my liver is dry heaving
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize
