I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
