Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
