worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
