I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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