What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I can text with my tongue
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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