its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
