turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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