I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
meet me or not, i'm out of control
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
