she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
