im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
