I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
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