I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Randomize
