so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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