This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
