Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
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