Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
