That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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