so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize
