white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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