I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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