mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I feel great
I just peed on a car
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
