my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
