So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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