Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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