so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
