you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
