We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
so much tequila, so little girl.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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