im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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