so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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