i just wanna soil my oats bro
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
