and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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