I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
its not stalking. its research.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
It's blow job season.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
