i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
The convent might be a nice break from real life
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