What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
