you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
