There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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