So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Randomize
