her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
