Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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