redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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