You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Randomize
